Invisible Minds
by maymayx
Summary: Step inside the tortured mind of Bella Swan. She looks like a normal teenager, speaks like a normal teenager but she carries a heavy weight with her every day. No one can see it, No one notices because it's all in her head. What happens when someone notices? Warning there may be disturbing topics in this story that you may find offensive.
1. Chapter 1

**AN** ; I know I have to finish Strangers of Reality but I thought of this story line and just had to write it! This story is very close to my heart, it is hard to write for personal reasons but I wanted to share it. It's been going around in my head for a long time, I needed to get it into words.

 **Warning there may be disturbing topics in this story that you may find of** fensive.

 **Invisible Minds**

 **Chapter One**

My reflection stared back at me, on the steamed mirror. I leaned in and wiped the mirror, to see myself more clearly.

I need a haircut.

I need my eyebrows waxed.

Why do I have acne?

Why do I have such a round face?

Look at my arms, they're so fat.

Thoughts ran through my head, spinning over and over again. How could I have so many thoughts in such a short matter of time, the mind is funny like that.

My big brown eyes looked emotionless – Malteasers is what my family calls them.

I went through this every single day, it's a routine. Come home from school, watch TV for hours on end, shower, and insult myself.

I have good days, though. Where I'm actually truly happy. They are rare but I have had them. That's how my head works. I think of it as a holiday, a day away from the bad thoughts and only being surrounded by the positive ones.

I am good at faking being happy – too good. No one notices, well not my friends in school. My mom tends to notice on one of my worse days.

"Bella, please tell me what's wrong?" My mother plead.

I shook my head in annoyance, glaring deathly at the woman who raised me.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine"

"I know somethings wrong Bella, I know you."

No she didn't. No one knew the real me. Everyone knew the happy Bella, the soft one who just went through life carelessly.

I wanted to tell my mother, how much I am suffering. But, she has been through so much heartbreak in her life, I didn't want to burden her.

I walked out of my bathroom, towel wrapped around me towards my room. A small box room, which suited me just fine.

What pyjamas will I wear?

I look fat in that.

That too.

I guess this will do.

I took out one of my brother's baggy t-shirts and tracksuit bottoms. My usual bed wear.

I caught my reflection in the mirror.

They're too many mirrors in this house, I thought.

When I was dressed, I walked down my stairs and into the sitting room, where my mother was seated. She held a glass of red wine in her hand and her focus was on her phone.

She looked up and greeted me.

I went over to where my dog was curled up on the couch.

I saw out of the corner of my eye, my mother watching me. She did this a lot, as if she was making sure I was not going to break right then and there.

"What are you staring at?" I snapped.

"I'm not" she defended.

I rolled my eyes.

I was used to the silence, it was comfortable, not awkward.

"When's the last time you spoke to your father?" She asked.

"About a month, I guess." I shrugged.

I watched her as she shook her head, a look of annoyance on her face. She sipped her wine.

"Are you doing anything this weekend?" She asked.

"No" I replied.

Who would want to go out with me?

"I think I'm going to go to bed." I stated.

I looked at her for a reply.

"I won't be long, trust me."

I went inside to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. I don't know why I bring water up to bed, I never even drink it. Routine I guess.

When I got back up to my room, I turned off the light and got in to bed. I unlocked my phone and clicked Facebook.

I read through status after status, uninterested with what they're saying.

I have zero new messages, surprise surprise. I'm used to it.

I was going to go onto snapchat but I decided against it and went to sleep.

I hated nights, that's when my thoughts were mostly dangerous. I thought about my friends, I loved them. I just wish they shared the same love and dedication to me as I did to them. A friendship can't work by one person doing all the work, right?

Sometimes, they can be so awful to me. They probably just think they're joking but I take everything to heart. I wish for my friends, more than anyone to notice my suffering. I would never tell them but I wish they would notice. I guess I don't make it easy for them to do that.

After a few long hours filled with treacherous thoughts. I got to sleep.

…

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I was rudely awoken by the sound of my alarm clock telling me I have school in an hour. I pressed ignore and lay there, thinking about the dreaded day ahead of me.

I felt sick even thinking about it, another day of being surrounded by fake bitches. Maybe I was a hypocrite since I was the fake one – hiding my true self. Maybe I was envious of them, they were happy and had friends who would do anything for them. Maybe.

I got up finally and dressed into my school uniform. Red jumper, white blouse and grey skirt. It was disgusting and made me look ten times fatter than I actually was.

I brushed my hair and threw it up in a bun at the centre of my head.

Sighing, I walked downstairs and put my lunch in my bag, grabbed my keys and left the house. I never ate breakfast, I couldn't digest that early in the morning. It took literally ten minutes to get ready in the mornings.

I loved the fresh air in the morning – don't get me wrong, I hate walking to school, it was the most horrible walk. My mother usually dropped me but I knew never to ask her On Monday's and Thursday's.

I took me around ten minutes to walk to my school, I arrived at eight fifth teen. I took a deep breath before walking through the entrance. Taking in the familiarity of the surroundings and people. I walked to my locker and put my coat and lunch into it, taking what I needed from it.

I saw my friends at the table, we usually sat at.

"Hey" I said. Trying to make small talk.

Neither of them looked up from what they were doing. I resisted the urge to cry. My eyes were burning anyway.

I sat down and pretended to act busy with something in my bag. Tanya looked at me and then looked back down.

"Oh, Hi" Lauren smiled. I smiled back.

The two of them conversed in a conversation together, giggling over something I didn't hear. I wanted nothing more than to laugh with them but I wasn't ever included.

I already knew it was going to be a very bad day.

…

"Can I see your maths Homework?" Tanya asked.

I immediately tensed – I didn't want to give her my homework, I worked really hard on it but I also didn't want her to get mad at me.

"Sure." I handed my homework over to her to copy.

She took it and started to copy. I had to look away and started to stare at random things around the lunch room. Lauren was walking over to us. Her short blonde hair dangling by her ears.

"Oh is that the maths homework! Can I see that too Bella?" She asked.

"Yeah" I answer hesitantly.

I felt like I was going to puke, I needed to get out of here.

"I'm just going to the bathroom." I declare, to no one at all.

I walked out of the room into mayhem, students running up and down the corridor like animals.

"Bella!" someone called.

I turned around to see Irina and Jessica. My other two friends.

"Hey guys." I smile.

Irina wraps her arms around me and hugs me. I melt into her embrace, it's what I really needed.

But it didn't last long she moved away shortly after.

"Bella what's up?" Jessica asks.

"I'm just going to the bathroom." I reply.

"Where's Tanya and Lauren?" Irina asks.

Of course.

"In the lunch room. You guys go in, I'll be back in a while."

I walk away from the speeding down the hall, towards the exit. I was met with a gush of cold air. I sighed. It felt great to actually breathe again.

Hot tears filled up in my eyes. I am so stupid, I wish I wasn't so sensitive. I wish I was like everyone else and didn't think so much about everything.

When I decided I was able to go back in, I walked back to the lunchroom slowly but surely.

I walked in to see the four of them laughing about something. I looked to see Jessica has taken my seat.

Irina looks up and smiles at me.

"Bella, pull over a seat" she orders.

I nod, grab a chair and drag it beside Irina.

"Are you okay?" Irina asks.

Irina. Bless her. Was the nicest person you could ever meet.

"I'm fine, Irina." I smile at her.

I could see Tanya looking at me, I decided to ignore it. I have no energy to deal with her today.

She throws my maths copy at me and blurts out a thanks. No fucking problem.

…

The day went quickly after that, I got home at four and watched TV for a while – eating dinner with my mother.

I then decided to shower, which led me to the same position I was in yesterday.

Staring myself in the mirror, naming my flaws, one by one. Just a usual day in the life of Bella Swan.

AN; that was incredibly hard to write, you have no idea! I am very happy with it as the first chapter. I know there is still a lot of questions I have to answer regarding Bella. But I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time.


	2. Chapter 2

Invisible Minds

Chapter 2

"It was so funny, my brother-"

"Why are you telling me this? I don't care" Tanya interrupted laughing.

I looked down at my feet, deciding to ignore her comment.

I can't do anything right these days.

I walked along side Tanya, she was talking to me about something but I wasn't really listening. I wish I could tell her I don't care but I wasn't in the situation where I could pick and choose my friends.

I walked towards my locker and took out my coat and phone, getting ready to go home.

"Will you wait for me?" Tanya asked.

"Sure" I replied, pleased she asked me.

We walked out of the school together until we separated going different ways. I need to sit down for a bit and clear my head before I went home.

I walked into some bushes and leaned against the walls.

It was covered with graffiti and beer bottles thrown on the ground.

I sighed, putting my head in my hands. I don't know why I was given this life, it is a struggle to deal with it every day. I tell myself once I finish school, I'll be free but my thoughts follow me everywhere.

"bad day?" a voice asks, startling me.

My head snaps up to see a guy, around my age leaning against a tree, wearing a smirk on his face. He had dirty bronze hair, I couldn't make out any distinct facial features.

"I guess you can say that." I mumbled.

"Me too" He replies.

We stay quiet. I kept thinking about Tanya's comment about how she doesn't care what I say. Why does she say those things to me? She doesn't say that to Lauren, Jessica or Irina.

Why me?

"What?" The stranger asked.

"Huh?"

"You said, why me?"

I didn't realise I said that out loud. "Nothing."

He strides over to me and stops right in front of me, and sits down.

I can make out that he has green eyes, and freckles scattered over his nose.

"Do you go to Endas?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"me too"

I wasn't sure I should be telling this stranger my personal information but I got a vibe off of him that I can trust him.

"You seem like a sad girl." He comments.

"You seem like a nosey guy" I snap.

"Sorry snappy." He laughs.

"I came here for peace and quiet can you just leave me alone!" I pleaded.

He stayed quiet after that but did not move, I lead my back against the wall and closed my eyes. I wish I could stay in this place forever, obviously I can't.

It would eventually rain and I hate rain.

"I'm Edward"

I rolled my eyes, can this guy stay quiet for at least five minutes.

"what's your name?"

"Linda."

He snorts. I glare.

"Your name is not Linda." He laughs.

"Why not?" I quirk a brow.

"You don't look like a Linda."

"What do I look like then?"

He raised his hand to his chin, pretending to think. "Mandy"

Now it was my turn to laugh. "And you thought Linda was bad."

"Can you please just tell me your name."

I groaned. "Bella."

He grinned. I frowned.

"I'm gonna go." I said, standing up.

"Bye Bella." He waves, still grinning.

I walked out of the bushes and down the path. That was weird. No one has ever willingly talked to me before.

Because I'm ugly.

Fat.

Stupid.

And weird.

Of course, my thoughts had to bring me down again.

I sighed, as I continued walking back into my little world of me.

…

"Your home late" My mother states.

"I got caught up at school."

She nods.

I heard my older brother walk down the stairs, dressed for work, as usual. All he does is work.

"Hey" he nods.

"Hi"

That was all the conversation consisted of until he left for work.

"I'm making pizza for dinner." My mother smiles.

"Cool."

I walked over to the cabinet and reached for a glass until I felt my mother grab my arm.

"What is this?" He demands.

I looked down and see the cuts on my arm.

I shrugged it off.

"Bella, you told me you'd stop."

"What are you talking about mom! I just scraped myself." I declared.

I looked at her face, she wore a heartbroken expression which instantly made me feel sorry for her.

"Mom, I promise, I just scraped myself." I lied.

She nodded and continued back to dinner.

I ran up to the bathroom and locked the door.

I steadied my breathing, in, out, in, out. I sat down on the cold tiled door. Tears streaming down my cheeks.

I looked at the shower, shampoo bottles scattered across the floor. I froze when I saw it. A blade. My worst enemy.

I don't need it. I am stronger than this.

But I wasn't strong at all, I am a weak girl.

I thought about my mother, it kills her to see me like this. I thought about Tanya and Lauren, would they care?

You are stupid, Bella.

So useless, Bella.

That guy must have been mentally unstable for talking to you, Bella.

Says the unstable one.

I reached for the pink blade. And without thinking I dabbed it into my arm, higher up this time.

The pain was unbearable but I felt free. This is the real Bella.

My eyes watered as I looked at my blood on my arm, when did I get this way?

I used to be a happy person, I had friends who cared for me, what happened?

"BELLA, DINNER!" My mother shouted from the end of the stairs.

I panicked as I was snapped back into reality. I threw the blade in the bin and got some toilet paper, holding it down on my cuts.

I am so stupid, why would I do this now, with my mother home.

I took a deep breath before unlocking the door and walking slowly down the stairs.

…

Days have past since my encounter with Edward, I couldn't remember if he goes to my school because he wasn't wearing the uniform when we met.

Even though he annoyed me it felt good to have a conversation with someone who wasn't my mother.

"Bella?" The teacher asked.

I was shook out of my thoughts by my English teacher. I looked up to see an angry expression on his face.

"Yes?"

"What's the answer to the question?" he asked, raising a brow.

"What's the question?"

Everyone started to laugh, Mr. Barner just walked away.

"You're so stupid, Bella." Tanya laughs.

I looked down and continued my school work.

"Sorry I'm late." A male voice says.

Everyone looks towards the door, curious to see who it was.

I was shocked to see the familiar bronze hair, I seen a few days ago.

Our eyes met and we never broke our stare.

It was **_Edward._**

"And you are?" Mr Barner asked.

"I'm new here, Edward Cullen."

"Take a seat, Mr Cullen."

The class went on with me taking secret glances at Edward, trying not to get caught out.

"What a hottie." Lauren whispered in my ear.

I laughed with her.

…

"Do you come here often?" Edward laughed as he walked closer to me.

I was sitting where I had been a few days ago when we first meet.

"It helps me think."

"Thinking is dangerous, I never do it."

"I think too much" I state.

"I seen you with those girls at lunch today, are they your friends?"

"My best friends." I nod.

My only friends.

AN; Chapter two. Edward. Thoughts?


	3. Chapter 3

_AN; Thank you for all the reads. I will try put up daily chapters._

Invisible Minds

Chapter 3

Do you ever ask yourself if you're better off dead? I do. There is no reason for me to be on this planet. My family would be better off. My mother wouldn't have to worry about me, my brother wouldn't have to avoid going home, My father wouldn't have the burden to call me once a month. My friend's well I don't think they'd even notice if I was there or not.

Would Edward notice? I hoped he would.

Edward and I have formed a weird friendship, well I wouldn't call us friends. All we do is go to our bushes and sit in silence, we don't talk. It's a nice silence though, it's not the kind of silence where I feel the need to say something to avoid the mortification of awkward silence. And we added each other on Facebook.

"Why don't you talk, Bella" He asks.

I look up to meet his green eyes, they remind me of seaweed.

"I don't know what to say." I shrugged.

"There is a trillion words in the English language, I think you can come up with something"

I smirked.

Edward comes closer to me and puts his hand on my arm.

I flinched, instantly regretting it because he swiped his hand away so quickly.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled.

He looked at me curiously.

"Why are you apologising?" He asked.

"I haven't a clue" I admitted.

He laughed.

"Tanya seems nice" He said, making conversation.

"Yeah."

I bit down on my lip, hoping the pain will stop he tears from spilling from my eyes.

"So does Lauren."

The pain was so overpowering, as I put more pressure on it.

"Shit, Bella! You're bleeding" Edward cries.

I touched my lip so find that I was indeed bleeding and it was dribbling over my chin. I wiped my chin with the sleeve on my jumper.

"It's nothing." I stated.

"Nothing! Bella did you not feel the pain?"

"I have a low pain tolerance." I lied.

He looked at me weirdly. Great, I've weirded him out. I knew this friendship was too good to be true.

"You should ask Tanya and Lauren to hang out with us someday."

I wanted to cry again. Why does he keep bringing them up? I knew I wasn't enough for him, I wasn't enough for anyone.

"Not here though" He grinned. "This is our place."

I smiled at him, instantly feeling better.

…

"Oh my god, new hot guy is coming over here! Why is he coming over to us?" Lauren says, fixing her hair.

"His name is Edward" I stated.

Lauren glares at me. "I know that, duh."

Edward sits down in the seat next to me, putting his arm over the back of my chair.

"Hey Bella" He grins.

I looked down, dodging Lauren and Tanya's looks. "Hi" I whispered.

"How are you lovely ladies this morning?" He asks.

Lauren props her chin in her hand, batting her lashes at Edward. "I am great."

Tanya snorts.

"I was thinking we should all hang out this weekend."

"I am having my sixteenth birthday party this weekend, you should come Matt." Irina chirps.

All the girls nodding with her.

"Sure, only if Bella comes." He says, winking at me.

I was about to speak until Lauren spoke up for me.

"Of course she's coming! Aren't you Bella?" She raises her brow, awaiting my answer.

"Yeah" I replied.

"Then it's a deal." Edward says, clapping his hands.

I stood up, excusing myself.

"Don't worry she does that all the time, she's weird." Tanya laughs.

I run out the exit, needing some air.

My breath was caught in my throat.

I couldn't breathe, I just kept running, away from the school. The further I go the harder it is to breathe, I am now coughing uncontrollably.

"Bellay!" Edward shouts running over to me. "What's happening?"

"I-panic" I spit out.

"Panic attack?" Edward asks slowly.

I nod over and over.

"OK! Just find something you can touch, something you can smell and something you can hear." He says slowly and carefully.

I take what he says in to consideration. While wheezing for air, I grab his hand for something I can touch. I can smell the flowers that surrounded me. I hear the beeping of cars on the road, going by us.

As I begin to notice all of the things he says, I begin to control my breathing, slowly starting to calm down.

He squeezes my hand, terror in his eyes.

"How did you learn to do that?" I ask, still breathless.

"I used to get panic attacks when I was younger."

"You did?"

"Yeah" He smiles.

I sit down on the grass. He follows.

"Do you get panic attacks often?" He asks.

Every day, I think.

"Not really." I reply.

We sit in silence for a while, we were probably late for class but at that moment I didn't really care.

"Tanya called you weird." Edward whispered.

"I know"

"Don't you get annoyed?"

"I'm used to it."

He looks at me, annoyance in his eyes.

"Bella, you can't let people walk all over you and treat you like shit."

I look at my feel. If only he knew it was much harder than he thought. If I stood up to Tanya, the rest of my friends would go on her side and I'd have no one. I don't know what I would do if that ever happened.

"Its fine, Edward."

"It's not fine!"

I looked at him.

"Stay out of it"

I started to walk back towards the school.

"Bella, Wait."

I spun around. "No Edward! All you do is walk into my life and tell me what to fucking do! I am FINE!"

He looked hurt. I didn't feel bad. He has no right to tell me what to do. It was my life.

"Fine if that's how you feel, I'll stay out of your life."

"Fine."

I turned back around and continued walking. I never looked back at him.

…

When lunch came around, I didn't feel like being around the girls. I knew they'd have questions as to why Edward was talking to me earlier.

I sat with them anyway.

"Since when did you and new guy become so close?" Lauren asked, eyes narrowed.

I shrugged.

"Bella, speak to me!" She orders.

I look at her. "We have just talked a bit, OK."

"Whatever" she mutters.

Tanya, Jessica and Irina come to join us. All talking about Irina's party on Friday.

"I don't think I'm going to go, Irina." I say.

Out of everyone Irina was probably the nicest to me, I felt bad but she probably wouldn't even notice if I was there or not.

"No you have to." Tanya says.

I looked at her shocked that she even wants me to go.

"Edward said he wouldn't go unless you're going." She states.

Of course.

"Yeah you have to come Bella! I really like the guy." She nods.

"Fine" I mutter.

They go back to talking about what they're going to wear to the party.

Jessica leans over and whispers in my ear. "Pull your sleeves down, it isn't a good look."

I looked down at my jumper, my scars were exposed. I instantly pulled my sleeves down.

She looked at me with her eyebrows raised and a smirk on her lips. I couldn't believe this. I'm not looking for attention, that's not what I want. But I thought that she'd be a little bit nicer.

…

Wednesday and Thursday came and went. Today was Friday, the day of Irina's party. School was all about the party, everyone was hyped up about it.

I haven't spoken to Edward since our Fight, I wasn't even sure he was coming tonight. I was still mad at him, he had no right to be in my business but deep down I knew that he meant well.

"You look gorgeous Bella" My mom says, smiling. "I'm glad you're getting out of the house with your friends"

"Thanks mom" I reply.

I stood opposite my mirror. I was wearing white jeans and a black top.

"Would you like something to eat before you go?" My mom asked.

"No thanks."

I didn't want to be bloated at the party.

"Okay, well see you later then."

When I was ready to go, my mom dropped me off at Irina's house.

I was currently standing in front of her house. I could hear the loud music and sounds of people's voices. I really didn't really want to be here.

I walked up to her front door and walked in. Girls and boys were everywhere, laughing and talking. I didn't know who to go up to.

I spotted Irina talking to a group of our classmates.

I walked up to Tanya who was at the drinks.

"Hey" I said.

She looked up and her eyes grazed over me.

"What are you wearing?" She laughed.

I looked down at my clothes, I didn't see what was wrong with it.

"Clothes." I answered.

She frowned at me. "Obviously."

I filled up my cup with water, I don't drink.

"Let loose Bella, stop being so uptight all the time." Lauren says, walking over to us.

"I'm not"

"Yes you are! Come on have a beer, it won't do you any harm." Lauren smiles.

She hands me a beer and I reluctantly talk a sip out of it.

"There you go" lily says.

I see Edward walk through the front door, he is wearing jeans and a black jumper. His bronze hair is gelled in a messy look.

"Oh my god!" Lauren squeals.

I roll my eyes at her and take another gulp of the beer. It actually didn't taste so bad.

"Hey girls." Edward greets with a grin.

I avoid making with contact with him.

"Hi Edward, enjoying the party?" Tanya asks.

"I only got here so I wouldn't know yet" He laughed.

"God Tanya, you're so stupid" Lauren giggled.

Tanya blushed and laughed.

How you like being called stupid Tanya, I thought.

"Bella" Edward greets.

"Edward"

"We're trying to get little miss uptight to have a few beers tonight, maybe she won't be such a loser drunk." Tanya jokes.

Nice.

Edward frowns at what Tanya says, obviously not impressed.

"That's not funny Tanya." Edward says.

Tanya laughs. "What are you talking about?"

"Treat Bella with a bit more respect please, you're supposed to be her friend."

"I'm only joking, you know that don't you Bella?" Looking at me.

"Sure" I nod.

"See, don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Whatever." Says Edward, who walks away.

"Bella! What the fuck was that" Tanya demands.

"What?"

"You should have defended me. God, I thought you were my friend" Tanya snaps.

I quickly reacted, not wanting her to be pissed off with me.

"I know, I'm sorry I wasn't thinking."

She walks away with Lauren in her tow, leaving me alone.

"I don't know why you let them treat you like shit." Someone whispers in my ear.

I immediately knew who it was. Edward.

"Because Edward, I know they're only joking."

The rest of the evening is basically just me standing around. Edward left shortly after our confrontation. Tanya, Lauren, Jessica and Irina didn't come up to talk to me at all during the party. Things were getting worse between us.

I walked up to the bathroom and locked the door.

I stood in front of the mirror.

Of course they aren't talking to you, you're a disgusting, worthless excuse of a human. I pulled up my sleeves and stared at my scares. It was disgusting. If anyone saw these they would be so disgusted.

My eyes were stinging with fresh tears wanting to pour. Why was I born? Why was I cursed with this life, I don't understand.

Yes, Bella you would be better dead.

 _AN; How much do you hate Tanya right now… I know I do. Next chapter, we get to meet CHARLIE! I had my first day of my waitressing job today and I did so badly. I'm so afraid I'll drop the plates of food. Any waitressing tips? X_

 _Ps: Who do you think is Bella's brother? ;)_


	4. Chapter 4

_AN; Sorry I didn't update yesterday. Enjoy this chapter._

 **Warning: There is mentions of Bipolar disorder and depression in this chapter. If you find them offensive, I wouldn't read this chapter.**

Invisible Minds

Chapter four

I don't want to do this anymore, it's so surreal. I can't survive if this is all that's real.

"I want you to see someone."

I didn't react. I knew this was coming.

"Soon. I'm worried about you Bella."

I didn't look at her. I knew all there would be is heartbreak in her eyes.

"Bella. I think there could be something wrong but a doctor can fix it."

I turned my head towards her. Making eye contact. There wasn't heartbreak. There was worry.

"You need help."

I thought about a reply but I couldn't bring myself to respond. I didn't have the energy to fight.

"OK."

She looked at me surprisingly. Like I wouldn't have agreed so easily.

"For you, mom."

She smiled, genuinely.

We had this conversation before. Years ago. I didn't agree so easily. I told her I would get better but it wasn't a lie. I did get better. It didn't last long.

"Thank you, Bella. I promise you'll get better."

She kissed my forehead and left the room.

I missed Edward. I haven't spoken to him since a party, a week ago. Things were getting worse in school. Tanya never spoke to me anymore. It had got to the point where I missed her insults. Lauren just follows by Tanya. Jessica doesn't really eat lunch with us anymore.

Irina doesn't really know what's going on. She questioned me about it.

 _"Why is it so tense at lunch?" She asked me._

 _I looked down at my book, I was reading._

 _"Tanya and Lauren aren't talking to me anymore." I reply._

 _"Why not?"_

 _"I don't really know. It happens sometimes but usually it goes away." I admitted._

 _Her eyebrows furrowed. Like she wasn't expecting the answer given to her._

Irina stayed away after that. Avoiding our table. Eventually, I decided to eat my lunch in the bathroom.

I hated being ignored. By my friends and especially by Edward.

I just wished Edward would speak to me. His words, somehow, had an effect on me, making me feel better. Even for just a short amount of time.

"Bella. Your dad's outside."

I sighed. Time to act happy.

I picked up my bag.

"Bye Mom."

I walked outside and seen the car sitting in the driveway.

He had a big smile on his face. It was contagious. It instantly made me smile, something I didn't do a lot.

"Hey dad." I greeted, hugging him.

"Bella, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too" I said looking down at my thumbs.

The car ride was silent with some small talk. We talked about school mostly.

If only he knew.

My mom doesn't tell my dad about me. I don't let her. There's no reason for him to be worried along with my mom. My mom's more than enough worry I can deal with.

When we arrived at his house, I walked in. Exasperated at how big it was. I had this reaction every few times I came here. It amazed me at how my mom, brother and I could live in such a small house while he had this house to himself.

"I was thinking maybe we can go to the new pizza place down the town for dinner." He grins.

"That sounds perfect dad."

"I have some good news to tell you"

I thought about this. What news could he have to tell me? That Emmett was moving in with him? That wouldn't surprise me.

"What news?" I asked.

"You'll have to wait" He winked.

Great.

I went upstairs to my room. It was simple. I didn't have any of my things in there because I don't come here a lot.

I put my bag on the ground and jumped on the bed, laying down, looking at my phone.

I see on Facebook, Edward has made friends. There's multiple pictures. I scroll through the album. I am aware I may look like a stalker right now.

I scroll through my inbox and find his name.

 ** _Hey._** I type.

It didn't take long for him to see it. Please don't give me the seen, I beg in my head.

 _Bella, how are you?_

I smile. He mustn't be that mad at me, if he's typing.

 ** _Stuck in my dad's house._**

 _When are you back?_

 ** _Tomorrow._**

 _We should hang out._

I jump up with a massive grin on my face, doing some twirls across the room. I stopped when I realised I was being a weirdo.

 ** _Yeah we should._**

 _There's a new movie out in the cinema, do you want to go with me to see it?_

 ** _Yeah._**

 _It's on at seven._

 ** _That's perfect._**

 _I'll pick you up._

 ** _Do you know where I live?_**

 _Send me your address tomorrow._

…

"You said you have a surprise for me dad." I mentioned.

I watched as he smiled across from me at the dinner table. I love his smile, Emmett got my dad's smile, and I saw a lot of my dad in Emmett.

"I do, Bells." He replies. His head looks towards the entrance of the restaurant. "Here it is now."

I watched as a woman, with long red hair walks into the restaurant. A younger girl with short black hair in tow.

My dad stands up and kisses the woman on the cheek.

"Hi Charlie." She greets. She turns to me. "You must be Isabella"

"Just, Bella" I replied

I stood up and shook her hand. I turned to my dad and gave him a confused look.

"Bella. This is Elizabeth. My girlfriend. And her daughter, Alice."

I certainly was surprised.

"Hi nice to meet you." I greeted.

Alice definitely had a resting bitch face. She looked at me like I was a piece of chewing gum on a school table.

I glared at her right back.

I learned that she was sixteen, same age as me and that she was an attention seeker. And she obviously had daddy issues because she was sucking up to mine.

I wanted to shout at her to get her own dad and this one was mine but I didn't really want to embarrass my dad.

He looked really happy, smiling a lot more than he used to.

Elizabeth seemed really nice, Alice didn't gain that trait.

"Alice loves basketball, she is captain of her team. What sports do you like Bella?"

I snorted. My dad glared at me.

"I'm sorry Elizabeth, I don't do any sports."

She gaped at me. "You don't like sports?"

"No, I hate them all."

"I can see that." Alice snared.

"How so?" I asked.

Her eyes glazed over my body, and then smiled sweetly at me. "No reason."

Bitch.

"Alice has a boyfriend, they're so cute together. Charlie, do you remember when we double dated with them?" Shannon laughed.

My dad nodded, laughing with her.

"Do you have a boyfriend, Bella?" Elizabeth asked.

I see the way Alice looked at me, as if she knew I was going to say no.

"Yeah"

Shit. My dad was looking at me now with complete surprise. What was I going to say, I haven't had a boyfriend since, never mind.

"Oh really, what's his name?"

"Edward" Oh god, word vomit.

Alice's eyes turn to slits, as if she knows I'm lying and is trying to catch me out.

The rest of the evening is the same, Elizabeth talking about Alice. Alice this, Alice that.

For god's sake if I ever hear the name Alice again, I'm going to kill myself.

I couldn't stop thinking about the way Alice looked at my body, like I was the fattest person she has ever seen.

Why do people treat me so bad all the time, I don't understand what I have done to the universe to deserve to be treated the way I do.

"You never told me you have a boyfriend." My dad commented on the way back.

"It's only new, really new." I lied.

He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes, I knew he was looking for me to break.

"I'm fine dad." I answered his, unanswered question.

"You just haven't had a boyfriend since Jake."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I hate hearing his name.

"I'm fine." I whispered.

And that was the end of that conversation.

…

"I'll see you soon, Bella."

"Bye dad." I whisper.

I hug my dad goodbye and walk out of the car. Walking towards my house.

I wave as he drives away and walk into my house.

"Mom, I'm home."

"In here" she shouts, from the kitchen.

I walk in to see her cooking something on the stove.

"How was your dad's?"

"Ok" I reply.

"I made an appointment with you this afternoon with the doctor."

I froze.

"Mom, I have plans later."

"Where?" she looks confused.

"I'm going to the cinema at seven."

"Its fine your appointment is at three."

I was so annoyed, I would never tell my mom but I am so scared with what the doctor has to say. I didn't want it to affect my mood for tonight.

…

"Hi Bella, I am Doctor Young." She greets shaking my hand.

I look at my mom who is sitting down beside me.

"Would you like your mother to stay in the room, Bella?" She asked me.

I looked at my mom.

"No" I said.

She stared at me. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. She got up and left the room.

It was just me and Doctor Young.

"What's your full name Bella?"

"Isabella Marie Swan."

"Birthday."

"13th of September 1999."

She looked up from her notebook and smiled. "Bella I'm going to ask you some questions, if you find any of them uncomfortable just tell me, okay?"

"Ok"

"Have you ever thought about suicide, or killing yourself?"

I hesitated. "Yes"

"How often?"

I might as well be truthful. "Everyday."

She was writing in that stupid book of hers. She never looked up.

"Do you find that your moods go from Happy to Sad very quickly?"

"Sometimes."

"Is there any history of Mental Health in your family?"

"No"

The questions went on. I didn't know what she was doing, she just kept writing. Then the question I most dreaded came.

"Can we talk about Jacob?" she asks carefully.

"No"

"Bella you can't keep hiding your true feelings. It might help to talk about it."

"I don't want to talk about it!" I snap.

After a while she called my mother in. She kept a sympathetic look on her face.

"Renee, I have asked Bella a number of questions. By her answers. I think I might have a diagnosis for her condition."

"Diagnosis?" My mother asked, panic in her eyes.

"I think Bella might have bipolar disorder."

My mother gasped, putting her head in her arms.

I couldn't hear anything else. My life has just turned upside down. How could this be happening to me? Bipolar disorder? How could she say I was bipolar after a few questions?

"Obviously she would need to take a test but I'm certain that she has bipolar disorder."

"What even is it?"

"Bipolar disorder is a mental condition marked by alternating periods of elation and depression. I would have to put Bella on Anti-depressants and pills to control her moods. She would have to take them twice a day."

I can't believe this.

"You have to keep an eye out for Irritability, Loss of sleep and Weight loss or gain."

She turns to me. "Bella, you have to help yourself. If you don't try to get better than you're not going to. You have to try stop cutting, stop thinking about suicide and negative topics. Try to be happy. I'm not delusional, I know that it's hard and there is no cure for bipolar disorder and depression but you have to help yourself."

I took all this in. She doesn't realise, how hard it is.

"Excuse me? How dare you! I do not have Bipolar! I am not fucking depressed! You can't just ask me ten questions and diagnose me." I was standing up now and raising my voice. "Fuck your anti-depressants, fuck your pills, and fuck you!"

I had tears streaming down my face. I ran out of the room and looked around for a bathroom. An old lady was walking my way, with a look of sympathy in her eyes.

"Are you okay, dear?" She asked.

"Do you know where the bathroom is?" I asked.

"Down the hall to the right."

I ran, as fast as I could. I was sobbing. I wanted nothing more than to get a knife and replace my emotional pain with physical pain.

Bipolar fucking disorder. There is no way. No fucking way. How dare she. What a bitch.

I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. My eyes all blotched and red. Tears still pouring.

"I am not depressed." I said, to the mirror.

I was watching my reflection in the mirror.

"I do not have bipolar."

I was interrupted by my phone ringing. I looked at it and noticed it was a private number.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey Bella, its Edward."

"Edward" I sighed.

"You never sent me your address, did you change your mind about tonight?"

"No!" he laughed.

"I live in-

 _AN; god that chapter was emotionally draining. Incredible hard to write but I did it and I'm happy with it. I never mentioned where in the world Bella lives. Where do you think?_

 _Next Chapter we have Bella and Edward. I missed Edward._

 _Reviews determine how quickly I update, please review! X_

 _Oh and you met Alice!_


	5. Chapter 5

Invisible Minds

Chapter 5

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asked, looking at me from the driver's seat.

I looked at him and smiled.

"I'm fine."

He returned a smile.

Truth was. I wasn't fine at all. I was completely emotionally drained.

I wish I had the strength to ask someone for help, ask Edward for help.

"So, what movie are we going to see?" I asked.

"It's a surprise." He winked.

I felt my cheeks getting hot with blush.

"I hate surprises." I admitted.

"You weren't in school on Friday" He stated.

"You noticed."

"Of course I noticed." He laughed.

I looked at him, trying to see if he was joking.

"Why don't you sit with Tanya and Lauren anymore?"

"They aren't talking to me."

"You're better off without them anyway."

He turned into the cinema parking lot and we got out.

The cinema was deserted. No one was around. Probably because it was a Sunday.

He held out his hand, I hesitated before taking it.

"So" I started. "Is this like a date?"

"Only if you want it to be." He smirked.

We walked hand in hand inside the cinema. Edward went up to buy the movie tickets while I sat down in the café.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

I nodded and followed him into the movie theatre. We sat in the back row. There were a couple of scattered people sitting around.

I really hoped this wasn't a romantic movie, there's nothing more cliché.

The lights were dimmed and ads came and went.

 _Ouija._

I turned to him and grinned.

"I remember you told me that you hated romantic movies." He said.

I couldn't believe he remembered that.

"Thank you, Edward" I whispered.

I turned back to the movie in complete and utter content.

…

"That was so fucking scary" Edward laughed.

"No it wasn't." I snickered.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

"You are mad" He shook his head.

We sat on his car hood in silence. Good silence.

"Today started off horrible, you made it so much better" I whispered.

He looked at me. "I'm glad I can help."

I looked up at the stars.

"Bella, whatever you're going through, I just want you to know that I'm here if you need anything."

"I'm not going through anything" I protested.

I felt his hand take mine.

"I'm here" He says, squeezing my hand.

…

Schools are scary. They're like prisons. You have to go for fourteen years of your life. You have to go five days a week. Surrounded by the same people. People who judge you.

I sighed, walking into school.

I was out for most of last week. I hate this place so much. I can't wait to get out of it.

Two more years.

"OMG! Bella! I missed you" Lauren screeches, running up to hug me.

I stood there in complete shock. I was not expecting this.

"Hey Lauren."

Her brown eyes looked up at me. "Are you okay Bella?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"Tanya told me that you got your period and was traumatized about it." She says. "Honey, don't worry everyone gets traumatized, it's very weird, even for late bloomers like you.

"Lauren, I got my period when I was a freshman. You were there, remember?" I raised a brow.

"Oh" she says. "Well, bye then."

I watch as she runs off.

Bitch.

I was shocked that Tanya would say something like that. What have I ever done to her?

I walked to my locker and opened it.

I didn't see it coming. It all happened so fast.

Tampons and towels blew into my face. Hundreds.

I could hear the laughter around me growing.

I felt like crying.

I was crying.

I just remember slamming my locker and running. Running away. Again.

That's all I seem to be doing lately. Running.

When I was far enough, I dropped to the ground and cried. I don't know how long I was there, I just cried.

"WHY" I screamed. "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?"

Slowly my crying turned to sobs and eventually sniffles.

"Bella."

I knew that voice. Edward. How does he always just show up? I'm starting to think he has a tracking device stuck to me.

"I heard."

Great.

"Go way." I demand.

"Bella please, don't push me away again."

I looked up to see his pained face.

"I don't know why they do it" I say. "It wasn't always this bad."

He walks closer to me and sits down.

"Tell your mom."

"And cause her more stress? No thanks."

"What's going on Bella?"

"Nothing, Edward!"

"Bella, I know somethings going on!" He shouts.

"Why can't you just mind your own business? Ugh!"

"Cause I fucking care Bella!" He shouts. "I fucking care about you."

Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't deal with this anymore.

"I was diagnosed with bipolar and depression." I whisper.

I didn't look at him. I knew he wanted to run. This was too much for him. He doesn't want to deal with me. I didn't want to see his disgusted face.

I felt arms wrap around me and pull me into an embrace.

"I'm so sorry" He whispers. "I'll help you."

I sobbed into his shoulder. I just let it all out. The pain, the embarrassment. Everything.

"Why do you care?" I ask.

"I don't know. I just do." He whispers.

I don't know how long we sat there. We just hugged each other. It felt good to have Edward there.

…

"How are you doing, Bella?"

How am I doing? That's a question I've been asking myself for weeks now. I stared at the tall, slender woman who sat before me.

"I'm doing okay" I answered.

She didn't believe me. She raised her brow as if to question my honesty.

"You know Bella, You can say anything to me. I will not tell a soul. Doctor patient confidently."

"Wrong." I stated. "Since I am a minor, you have full right to tell my mother what we discuss here today."

Take that bitch.

She stared at me, annoyance in her eyes. I stared right back, challenging her.

"I can't help you if you don't speak."

"I don't want your help."

This is how our sessions have being going for the past couple of weeks. I know I wasn't doing anyone a favour by being a brat but I couldn't bring myself to talk to her because I don't know what I am feeling. For the first time in my life, I don't understand what I'm feeling.

I stood up when I heard the familiar sound of the bell that tells me this session is over.

"Bella, No one can help you unless you help yourself, okay?" She says.

I look back at the woman who so desperately wanted to help me.

"Okay"

…

"How did it go?"

I looked at Edward. He was leaning against his car outside of my therapist's office.

"Shit."

He threw an arm over my shoulder. "It'll get better."

"No it won't" I moaned.

He laughed and dragged me into the car.

"Edward, thank you so much for being here for me the past couple of weeks." I say, smiling.

He smiled back with a nod.

 _AN; It's been awhile. I'm sorry!_


End file.
